Back to work

Tomorrow I go back to work!

I've been putting it off for a while, but not because I don't want to go back: I couldn't be more motivated. I'm lucky enough that I can decide when, and the conditions about how I return. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have the level of support from family and employer, and financial stability, that I have had.

What has actually held me back is the feeling inside that life is so full of opportunities. It's almost overwhelming, and occasionally paralysing. I find myself doing one thing, then getting excited by another that pops into my head, and before I know it I have 5 things going at once. Recently I have focused on a mantra we repeat at often work: "Stop starting. Start finishing."

I've spent quite a lot of time reading and studying, filling in gaps in my professional knowledge or revisiting things forgotten. I've built up quite a backlog of books (reading list at the end). I've continued to cook and have been toying with getting a new sourdough built so that I can make some fantastic bread whilst I still have plenty of time at home.

I've started a cycling training plan, a modest one to start with, but I've already cycled 160km this year on my indoor trainer. I cycle the 300km route in June in my head often. I think of new bike races and challenges. Constantly. I have my eyes on a new bike. I lust over it. Constantly.

I still go for walks, but less for exercise than for getting out in the fresh air and being with nature. Or spending time with the kids, Climbing trees (them), playing "I Spy" (quite a challenge with bilingual kids: fortunately I know that "N" stands for "Tongue").

Rosie has been off kindgarten for 3 weeks, attempting to avoid catching the winter illnesses and infecting me. It has been a joy having this time with her to bond, playing and losing memory games, cooking, going for walks. She plays so well independently, that I can easily do my own thing. She didn't want to go back yesterday, and I didn't want her too either. I wonder how I might have managed had I been the one home with the kids when they were babies.

I'm still going to have time for these things after today, since I will only be working 4 hours a day and I'll be working from home.

Last week I was at the hospital in Debrecen for my second checkup. Although my white blood cells have dropped a little, things are fine. I no longer have to take antibiotics or the antifungal medication. The next checkup will be on day 102 where they will check cancer markers and take a bone marrow sample, Since I was MRD negative before the transplant it's unlikely that I have relaspsed. After that, all restrictions on food, masks, sharing a bedroom and being around people will be dropped! And then the real fun can start!

What am I looking forward to most?

Sitting in a café and enjoying a nice coffee.

Reading list
Coaching Agile Teams, Lyssa Adkins (Jam packed full of advice for Agile practioners)
Getting to Yes (Negotiation)
Agile YouTube playlist
Anticancer
Kanban in Action
Fun Retrospectives
The Perfect Team (NY times)
The Scrum Master Toolbox podcasts

Day 61:

Arise my inner data geek

A lot of time has passed since my transplant now: 61 days to precise. I know this because I document everything!

Really, I do. Today I started my 5th notebook since the end of June.

I start my day with a coffee and writing up the double page template which has evolved over the last few months, and continue to do so, to meet my needs. I track what I eat; my medication; how much I drink; exercise; any physical issues I'm experiencing and my goals for the day. I've gone full geek with the food bit and have codes for processed food (*), meat and eggs (underlined), fruits and vegetables (boxed) so that I can easily identify the data to put into excel and calculate if I'm meeting my 5-a-day (I am: it's 7.5), and the variety of fruits, vegetables and pulses per week (26 types). The things you learn from data! I've never eaten more healthily. But I'm farting like a dog!

But how is it to be home?

The first few days were tough. Conditions at home had to be very strict: I have my own room and bathroom which Katie spends 1-1.5 hours every evening cleaning. I have to change my sheets every two days. I have to eat all of my food in my room. All of my food has to be freshly made. I can only drink bottled or boiled water. I have to wear a mask and linen gloves outside of the room. All of this is to minimise the risk of infection.

The first days were hard because I was fully dependent on Katie, if I wanted anything to eat or drink I had to ask. I felt like a burden. I couldn't help out with anything. I could see Katie getting very stressed with the many things she needed to do and it was hard to watch her struggling.

In a short time though, I was getting more involved at home. I've been making meals, finding small ways I can help with cleaning even though I'm not allowed to do the big cleaning. I play a lot with the girls, although we get them to put a mask on too when we're really close. Last week, we kept Rosie out of kindergarten as Scarlet Fever was going around, so we spent a lot of time together. That felt good.

Exercising the body and the mind

I've been walking a lot. Although it has been a very cold winter. I've been listening to audio books on the walks. I loved My Name Is Red by Orhan Pamuk, but was less impressed by On the Road by Jack Kerouac, though I think I would have loved it 15 years ago.

I'm also reading a little: I just finished a biography of the cycling legend Eddy Merckx, catching up on my old Granta magazines, and reading a fascinating book which my sister Lizzie gave me in the Summer, Anticancer. This book has triggered a lot of changes that I am making to my life, mostly around diet. It is written by a doctor who had cancer, he covers three main areas which have an impact on cancers: the diet, the environment and the mind. As a result I'm eating more fruit and veg than ever, eating less meat and cooking more, which I love!

Last week I started cycling again. This was the thing I'd been looking forward to most, and I don't want to linger long here because I'm going to jump on my indoor trainer soon to do a virtual ride on the Pacific Ocean Road in California :) Last week I rode 6 days, 30 minutes each time. I'm excited about getting fitter, and can't wait to be able to train harder and longer. But I need to take it easy first, which is probably my biggest challenge!

Back to work?

I won't be able to go back to the office until I'm past day 100. I'll be getting a detailed inspection around this time: blood and bone marrow. This is the time it takes for an immune system to recover, although it can take longer. I have been for one checkup, 3 weeks ago, and have another next week. I learnt little in the checkup other than I am doing fine, my white blood cells are below normal levels for a healthy person, but that's all.

I will probably return to work sooner, working remotely and part time, but I'm in no rush. I want to use this opportunity to get fitter, stronger, and use the time to learn new things. All this before adding the stress of work to my day and making it harder to do other important things.